I felt like I needed to start journaling and blogging again for a few reasons.
1. Life is flying by! I'm not one of those moms that can scrapbook or keep an up to date baby book SO this eases my guilt and terror of not remembering my kids' childhood.
2. I have my kids with me 24/7. They are like my ducklings, my crew, my BFF's, that being said, mama needs a place to collect the marbles rolling around in her head.
There are other beautiful things that unfold when we can get our thoughts down; big ah ha moments. I don't want to share these things because I think I'm brilliant or even a good writer, I desire God to use me and my triumphs and failures to make into something that He can be glorified in and for others to see Him in the ordinary.
So...What's going on right now in my life? A few things we are praying about that I will keep to myself for now BUT there is something super awesome I would love to share. Let me take you back 10 years ago to a 17 year old me that knew fun and rebellion a little too well. Perfect teen mom statistic story, I looked to fill a void and I found the temporary solution in a boy. That 17 year old me grew up quickly and became a mom to a beautiful baby girl. Looooong story short-that temporary void filler wasn't gonna cut it for me. I found myself in a church at the end of my rope. It was there that my creator met me where I was. He collected my tears, assured me that He took the weight of the cross for my sins, and He had a plan for me and my little girl. Jesus made Himself known as the One who convicted my heart and picked up the pieces and made a dwelling there that He would never leave. Never had I seen life so clear. Never had I had such hope. Never had I felt so whole. What I want to share about this is not that I came out "better and stronger", it's the fact that God does not waste. My sins were my choice. Sure I had a great family that would support me through motherhood, I had great opportunities, but nothing eternal. My hope has no end, it doesn't come and go with circumstances.
Now, in a true beauty from ashes story, I am being given the opportunity to share this with teen moms. I'm in the beginning stages of becoming a leader for YoungLives. It's an amazing ministry that holds fun events for teen moms to just be kids again and then through the leaders they are shown the love of Jesus. I'd love it if you would pray for these girls and their babies.
Maybe there is something that lurks in your life to remind you of your past pain? Your past betrayals? Something you just can't forgive someone for? Or even yourself? We can dig ourselves into a pretty desperate spot, whether it's a true physical threat or our feelings..God has no plan to leave you there. Maybe He won't take it all away instantly but I do know He will meet you there, and He will stay, as long as He is welcome. Suffering and hardships are imminent in this world, but it's important to remember that there are others who have also walked these roads, fallen in these pits of pain..Jesus did too. What would Jesus do is a great question-what did He do when He sweat blood, His heart was broken, He was betrayed, and then had a gruesome physical death in His very near future?
He prayed. He asked for a way out. He plead with the Father to forgive those who wronged Him. And, He submitted to God's will.
God is our refuge and strength. A very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
Rest in the fact that God can turn your ashes into beauty.
